Hannah Frishberg | New York Post | March 24, 2021 

Hot dog does this container ship have bad luck.

Before getting itself into a pickle by running aground in the Suez Canal, this unfortunate vessel drew one. 

According to nautical tracking service VesselFinder, the massive Ever Given charted a route resemblant of a penis, testicles and an enormous butt in the Red Sea before it became stuck, causing an intercontinental traffic jam in the maritime artery. 

As for the possibility that the vessel tracking site somehow conjured the data as a juvenile genital joke, “There is no room for some kind of conspiracies or false data,” a spokesperson for the site told Vice. 

“Innocent, but terrible luck,” disinformation researcher John Scott-Railton captioned a tweet of the Ever Given’s watery, x-rated route. 

The gigantic ship — which measures in at more than four football fields long and over 440 million pounds — became lodged in the Suez Canal when high winds and a dust storm turned it sideways on Tuesday. Previous to that, it was en route to the Netherlands from China. The way in which the ship became stuck was “the most awkward way possible,” Scott-Railton tweeted. 

“Ship in front of us ran aground while going through the canal and is now stuck sideways looks like we might be here for a little bit,” a person aboard another ship in the canal captioned an image of the Ever Given.

Multiple attempts to free it by small Egyptian vessels were unsuccessful, but crews were eventually able to partially free it on Wednesday. 

While traffic appears to have now resumed, the situation was so bad that many familiar with the waterway feared it would be blocked for days — a major issue as it serves as a vital link between Africa and Asia and the main conduit for roughly 12 percent of global trade.

“After all day trying to refloat the mega container ship ‘Ever Given’, in the Suez Canal, there is a steady log jam of ships waiting in the Mediterranean & Red Sea and in the canal itself,” a sea traffic-follower observed on Tuesday.