Consistent with the Theme of Rampant Ageism, One of my Bros Posits: “Perhaps Former Vice President Joe Biden’s Teeth Wanted Out of his Dirty Old Mouth.”
Joe Biden’s Teeth Wanted Out | Mort Collin
For those of you who think you’re cute and funny when you tell denture jokes, do the world a favor and shut the fuck up. Have you no shame? How is it that we’ve even come to this point in our sick and twisted world? Is it because we’re all blinded by the enormity of leftist faux outrage over race, saving the planet, trans rights, illegal immigration, etc.? All of the aforementioned has either already been solved for the most part or is just fake bullshit. For once let’s get behind a real issue; ageism. “Joe Biden’s Teeth Wanted Out.” Does this statement show the best of who we are as Americans?
I’m sitting in my living room the night of the most recent democrat debate, and all of a sudden on the TV, I see Joe Biden fumble his set but retain possession for all 56 viewers worldwide to see. Like a shot to the heart, and they’re to blame, the majority of my houseguests start laughing uncontrollably. One of my bros yells, “Holy shit! Joe Biden’s teeth wanted out of his dirty old mouth!” I snap. I lose my shit. I become psychotic. Ladies and gentlemen, I literally turn into the Hulk, minus of course the nasty snot green skin color. In that moment, I am the reincarnation of Patches Ohoulihan. Like an aggressive drunk on a bender or an old dodge ball coach in a wheelchair, I begin picking up every item in sight one by one only to hurl each of them toward the people in my living room. When it’s over, the violence of the event is palpable. The site is appalling. On a gore spectrum, it’s basically somewhere in between the Gettysburg Battlefield on July 3, 1863 and Sharon Tate’s living room on August 9, 1969. As the President would say, “Not good.” All of this because Biden’s teeth wanted out! Can you imagine?
The avoidance of detection by law enforcement since the night in question has been a challenge. I’ve undergone 4 sex changes, which is something my liberal friends applaud. Thanks Lib-idos! I’ve bought and subsequently ditched approximately 15 wigs. I’ve killed an additional 26 people, and I’ve shoplifted about 209 times. The lesson of this story is that we all have triggers. Sometimes those triggers are MAGA hats, and other times they’re a combination of Biden’s fumbled dentures, resultant laughter, and ultimately an ageism that should be alarming to all Americans. Dentures supported by implants can change ageism as we know it.
To all of you senior citizens out there who wear a set, it may be wise for you to consider the latest and greatest dental product on the market. Dentures supported by implants eliminate the need for adhesives and may well quell the growing scourge of rising ageism. You’ll no longer find yourself in the same situation as the former Vice President. Joe Biden’s teeth wanted out. Yours do not need to want out. Sure it will take some time along with multiple dental and oral surgeon appointments to obtain these for yourself, but it should be worth it.
In the meantime please enjoy the hell out of the younger generations’ Social Security and Medicare. I know; you’re entitled to it, but so are younger Americans who either won’t see it or will be paying such high taxes that its legitimacy will fade away and will eventually become worthless. In other words, the government will pay for Social Security and Medicare, because they’ve stolen it from the trust over the years to help finance their massive $23 trillion debt. When they pay for it, they will add more and more to the debt. The government pays for its debt via revenue it brings in. Who or what is the government’s revenue source? That’s right. It’s the American taxpayer. So in the end, the tab for these gigantic non-discretionary social welfare programs will land squarely on the shoulders of Americans in future years, thus making them worthless to future generations of American seniors. These have been great programs throughout the years, but the government has irresponsibly mismanaged them. Joe Biden’s teeth wanted out, and who knows? maybe Medicare could fix his problem.