Mike Leach on Mascot Rumble by Mort Collin
At a press conference on Tuesday, September 17th at Washington State University’s Vincent R. Fontaine Athletic Complex, Coach Leach happily fielded a reporter’s less than substantive question. The question posed to Leach was essentially an inquiry of the coach’s opinion on who he thought could emerge as the victor in a hypothetical PAC 12 team mascot “rumble.” At the beginning of his diatribe in response to this question, Leach dismissed the Arizona Wildcat’s ability to win the “rumble.” Why? I have no idea, but I’d assume it may be because the wildcat is a pussy. This however is quite the conundrum as Washington State’s mascot is a cougar, which is also a pussy.
If that’s not the definitive reason, perhaps it‘s because after the incident at Texas Tech, whereby Leach locked a concussed pussy in a storage shed at practice one day, he was fired by the university. My thinking is that that incident in Lubbock left a bad taste in his mouth, and now he can’t stand any pussy, much less the sight of one.
Leach went on to dismiss the Stanford Cardinal as well. I know what you’re thinking. Why would he dismiss a small but formidable pecker that is in fact quite capable of inflicting some damage on a pussy, a buffalo, a sun devil, a Ute, a Bruin, etc. Coach Leach has to know that when a Trojan is on a pecker, it’s not coming off for awhile. Furthermore, that Trojan may be able to really restrict the pecker’s ability to do much of anything at that point. In all reality though, the Stanford Cardinal is not a bird at all. It’s a tree. Leach nails this mascot perfectly. How in the hell is a damn tree ever going to win any kind of fight? Trees get smoked relatively easily all the time. They can be smoked quickly by any competition they may face, including pussies, sun devils, Utes, etc.
As for the coach’s dismissal of the Washington Husky mascot. Um. Yea. Duh! That’s a female husky…a bitch. We all know bitches don’t win “rumbles.” Just ask the Sharks and the Jets.
So in the midst of dismissing the wildcat, the cardinal, and the husky, Leach also addressed the other mascots and their capabilities in trying to win a potential “rumble.” Now don’t forget that Mike Leach thinks he’s a pirate, but from what I can tell, similar to an elevator that doesn’t go all the way to the top, It appears his ship may no longer sail into the harbor.
Here is what he said in the press conference. I rather enjoy the pairing of the sun devil with Harry Potter…very neat!