NFL Pick 🚨SPECIAL EDITION🚨 • Free State Football
Somebody say “Heyyyyyy we want some piiiiiickkks”
“Heyyyyyyyyyy I bet you doooooooo!” But “heyyyyyyy you only get one, you DERELICT SCUMBAGGGGGGSSSS”
1 Live Crew. Hahahaha that’s what we’ll call my twitter following…then you see they’re getting booked to headline 90’s spring break concerts and there’s just one dude up there in a speedo wiggling his little winkler(@rippyjeryy I’ll let y’all decide which one of y’all has the better Fonz…..and who’s willing to risk stepping out of the first time machine in the 90’s with it possibly relocated to the middle of their forehead).
All that being said, our pick this week is special. I’ve struggled to come up with a theme for this article that’s funny and ties in with the game, but if I said Cloak and Dagger, which two teams do you think would be facing off? You guessed the Browns and Ravens ….because Odell Beckham’s stupid dark visor stunt (cloak) and the Ravens because, well, I don’t really know why. Lamar’s “double edged dagger attack” approach gashes the defenses? I dunno… can you tell me why you associated them with a close proximity combat weapon….huh? CAN YOU TELL ME? Either way, you chose wrong.
It’s the actually the Pats -7 @ the Bills!
Median Webster dictionary states: Cloak and Dagger: relating to or showing actions or behavior in which people or governments try to protect their important secrets or try to learn the secrets of others.
What a microcosm of the last 20 years of the NFL’s greatest dynasty. We’re talking some serious espionage stuff here people. Injury reports hush hush? Deflate gate? Spy gate? Wow. Now here’s the part where you realize I failed to tie the Bills into the running theme in any relevant way…..to which I respond with WEAPONIZED FLYING DILDOS. A dagger is a weapon and as we saw last year, Bills fans are now armed with rubber wenis missiles (btw take the over on how many end up on the field….don’t care what it’s set at …take the over).
So to recap: Pats -7 and take the over “infinity fake dongs landing on the field” if you can get it.