Wayfair Employees’ Aggregate IQ Level Likely on Low End

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Is this a real protest? It really could just be a party in the making.

Imagining Wayfair Employees Partying
(L to R) Francesca T., Amy P., Amanda K. (Accounts Receivable) • Nancy D. (Payroll) • (TOP) Angela N., (BOT) Renee C. (Accounts Receivable) • Destiny H. (Engineering) • Tara W. (Payroll) • David D’s Bald Head (Brain Protection) Downtown Boston

by Joseph Scodney

Employees at Wayfair, a furniture manufacturer and retailer, officially walked off the job today. According to major media outlets on the ground in Boston, they are lying about their motivation to strike, and they appear to be too ignorant to even know it. Many are saying that they refuse to work, because they find it difficult to stomach the idea of their contribution to “for profit” operations that are providing beds and mattresses for illegal aliens being housed by the US government. TRUE STORY!

(L to R) Jeanette C., Molly S., Daisy F., Michelle H. (Engineering) Downtown Boston

The problem with that argument is that the furniture is being made by Wayfair for a non-profit entity known as BCFS. BCFS has a government contract to provide these beds and mattresses for those who are making attempts to break the law by coming into the US illegally. If BCFS is a non-profit, which it is, Wayfair employees are lying about “for profit” operations to provide goods that bring comfort to aliens.

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Terry R. (HR)
City Square Fountain
Downtown Boston

We get it. While BCFS is a non-profit, Wayfair is in fact a “for profit” company, and it benefits from making beds and mattresses that are being purchased from them by BCFS. While employee wages are not considered to be profits for Wayfair, because they are expenses, they do become profits for employees and their households. In other words, any money saved from wages earned minus expenses are considered to be household or familial profits. I am not aware of even one Wayfair employee refusing to be paid at this time.

Delana P. (Marketing) • Jamie S. (HR)
En Route to Downtown Boston Photo Cred: JB Limo Service

Thus Wayfair employees who are striking in opposition to “for profit” motives are not only liars but are also ignoramuses. How? Well for 3 reasons:


Harold (Purchasing)
Works in Cubicle by Fish Tank Photo Taken @ Office by Tilt Male Modeling

1) They’re protesting the profit motive of a non-profit (BCFS).

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2) They’re protesting the profit motive of Wayfair, which contributes to their personal profit motive. As far as we know, none of them have refused wages, and as a result, they are protesting themselves.

3) The government is short of beds and mattresses at facilities where these migrants are staying. However, a bed and mattress manufacturers’ employees are striking in support of the migrants, because they don’t want their employer to continue to make beds and mattresses for these migrants. Does that make any sense whatsoever?

David D. (Shipping & Receiving) • Terry B. (CFO)
Downtown Boston

This whole thing really seems like it’s a sham. I’m thinking these employees just don’t want to work. If that’s the case my prediction is that tomorrow the strikers may let temptation get the best of them, which could cause them to blow their own cover. None too smart, perhaps they’ll just party instead of continuing this fake protesting hoax. The majority of them are millennials after all.

All of the pictures posted in this article are a reflection of what I imagine the “protest” A.K.A. party looking like.

[L to R] (TOP) Theresa C. (Chief HR Officer) • Ashley P. (Marketing) • Kasey T. (Design) • Laura S. (Accounts Payable) • Monica Z. (Office of the CEO) • Jennifer A. (Design) • Karla O., Carrie I. (HR) • Ashley B. (Engineering) [L to R] (BOT) Brianna G. (Payroll) • Samantha Q. (Quality Control) • Amy K. (HR) • Tiffany J. (Office of the CEO) Downtown Boston
Raymond G. (Accounts Payable)
Downtown Boston
[L to R] (TOP) Melanie D. (HR) • Sara S. (Quality Control) • Pamela B. (Accounts Receivable) Erica M. (Office of the CFO) • Liz R. (Purchasing)• [L to R] (BOT) Hannah D., Jennifer S. (HR)
Downtown Boston
Boston Harbor
Downtown Boston

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