
A MUST WATCH PRESIDENT TRUMP PRESS CONFERENCE VIDEO: He Chomps Down On Core Historical Policy
Trump Press Conference | Victor Takacs


“WE APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH, TIM APPLE.”
Ever heard any of these last names: Archer, Baker, Brewer, Butcher, Carter, Clark, Cooper, Cook, Dyer, Farmer, Faulkner, Fisher, Fuller, Gardener, Glover, Head, Hunt or Hunter, Judge, Mason, Page, Parker, Potter, Sawyer, Slater, Smith, Taylor, Thatcher, Turner, Weaver, Woodman, or Wright? A lot of these names are very common in American society. You see, many many people have surnames that were passed down from their ancestors in England. A long time ago, people’s surnames were based on their occupation. Occupational names. A conversation in England in the 1100’s might have gone a little something like this:
DISCLAIMER: Not Part of the Trump Press Conference
“Last night I saw little Tommy Carpenter sneaking out of the castle window again, he must be the one defacing the tomb of Edward the Confessor. What a shackbaggerly young man.”
Little Tommy’s Father was a carpenter, therefore, his last name was Carpenter. But what does that mean for little Tommy? Does he also have to grow up to be a carpenter? If he doesn’t, his name wouldn’t make much sense right? Fast forward 900 years and we are still carrying around these occupational last names that have absolutely nothing to do with our current occupations. Finally someone addressed this issue! On Wednesday when the president referred to Tim Cook as Tim Apple, it was not a slip of the tongue. Oh no no no, this was trump saying let’s call it like it is; let us progress as a society. Let’s call people a name that refers to what they do or who they are. Just a little common sense. Just because Tim Cook’s great grandpa was a cook, why should he still have to go by that name??? When you hear the name Tim Cook what immediately comes to your mind?

Ding Ding Ding! You immediately think of Apple. Tim Cook is the CEO of Apple Inc. Tim Cook is not a cook; the essence of his whole being is Apple. So the President is telling us to call a spade a spade. He is urging us to be progressive and patriotic! It’s time to break free from the bonds of occupational surnames being passed down to multiple familial generations. This is an ancient tradition that was established in a foreign country one thousand years ago. Be modern! Throw off this yoke and grasp your independence!
Now to the MUST WATCH video regarding Tim Cook…I mean Tim Apple.
Categories: Satire
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