Boycott CVS by Joseph Scodney
So boycott CVS is trending right now. Where in the hell have these people been? I’ve been team “boycott CVS” since the day I first stepped foot in CVS. This sucks. You know the feeling, you thought of a great million dollar idea and you see that very same idea on a website a week later. I thought of boycott CVS probably 15 years ago. There are some true OG’s out there being disrespected by these posers. The true boycott CVS movement was centered on the absurd, ridiculous, dumbfounded fact that When CVS chose flooring, they decided to go with CARPET.
What a move. Carpet belongs in houses or in a dumpster. There’s no in between. Think about how disgusting that carpet is. Kids have puked on this carpet, people have sneezed on this carpet, little billy spilled his big red on this carpet, dippers have spit on this carpet. Imagine a spill in a CVS. “Clean up on aisle 3 over here by the dandruff shampoo”. “10-4, let me go rent a fucking rug doctor and take care of that real quick”. My lord, I am begging you people, do not ever get down on one knee to grab something from a CVS bottom shelf. Carpet burn is a bitch, and if you break any skin there is no doubt you will have full blown MRSA. Silver lining, you are in a pharmacy…
So you people with your political ideologies, boycotting CVS, get a life. We’ve been boycotting CVS for years and for reasons of the health and safety of humankind.
Hey everyone, let’s all go down to CVS and check out some carpet stains! Maybe, if we get lucky, it won’t smell like a 100 year old house that has survived 10 floods.